Anyone with a dad over 50 has gotten the proctologist story, which strives to make the most florid description of ass pain imaginable while bragging that he’s still a tough bastard and survived it.
Helpfully, Capcom’s Seth Killian provided a video that dads can use to impress upon their kids how prudent [[link]] it is to get your butthole checked for polyps every day once you turn 52. And to also say “It [[link]] sorta feels like that.”
For those wondering, my Dad’s version involved a staple gun going to work on his sphincter. “It was a biopsy thing that takes a core sample,” Dad said, with a perfect thousand-yard stare straight from the battlefield. “After the first one I asked how many he had to take. He said 12. After three you’re begging for mercy.”
Bionic Proctologist [Capcom-Unity]