Most people know the name Captain Sensible in one of two ways: either as the zany guitarist
of The Damned or as "That bloke that did 'Happy Talk'". Captain Sensible, I've always felt, is
both sorely underrated as a musician/ guitarist and under-celebrated as a man of worth.
In his pre veggie-pacifist born again hippie days 'The Captain' (as he is often affectionately
known ) could and would often outdo the best of them. His insults and damn right cruelty to The
Damned's audience would justifiably bring spit, beer cans and whatever else was to hand,
raining down upon him. Most of us realised early on that his insults and fury were carried out with
his tongue firmly in his cheek and all done with (as Kenny Everett used to say) the best possible
taste. I reckon he just loved getting a reaction. He'd taunt the entire audience, get them really
riled up and then, when the shit really hit the fan, he'd be back on the mike proclaiming;
"I love you people, you're the nicest bunch of people in the whole wide world", then just as the
crowd started to calm down, he'd add "Except that man there, you are the ugliest cunt I have ever
laid eyes upon !". Of course, the missiles would then fly again, with even more venom.

Suddenly in the early eighties the Captain's character seemed to totally change with him tuning
into the veggie-pacifist revolution that took place at the time. Apparently the change had come
about after he'd visited the anarcho band Crass's commune for dinner. Pretty soon Crass Records
would release Captain's first solo single entitled 'This Is Your Captain Speaking'. Soon after he
signed a solo deal with A&M records and released the aforementioned 'Happy Talk'. Considering
the Captains recent past 'Happy Talk' was the most unlikely of choices for a first single release.
A syrup-drenched ditty originally from the musical 'South Pacific', which would go on to be a U.K.
No 1 hit single. 'Happy Talk' would lead to him not only becoming a firm favourite with housewives
and kids TV but also to his becoming an ex-Damned member. In 1984 he was unceremoniously
booted out of the band he was in from the begining. The Damned continued in an ever more
commercial-goth vein, while the Captain forged ahead with his solo career, releasing countless
singles and albums with varying degree's of commercial success. Then (in 1998) after almost eleven
years as a solo artist we heard somewhat surprisingly, that Captain Sensible had rejoined The Damned.

With all this in mind I decided that it was a about time I called in the good Captain for questioning.
I donned my best P.C. Pig helmet and asked him to accompany me to the station. He admitted it
was a fair cop and stated that he would come along peaceably as long as the stations drinks
machine served a good pint of real ale, which of course it did....

[B] Now Captain let me take you back. Does this face look familiar to you?

[C] Err...

[B] Tell me about your pre-Damned days, weren't you once in a band called Oasis?
[C] Yeah yeah it was a kind of cabaret type band. I remember we used to do 'Tie The Yellow Ribbon
Round The Old Oak Tree' and an Elvis Presley medley and stuff like that. We played in working men's
clubs all round the south of England. I used to get a fiver a night for doing that. Which was a lot of
money in those days believe it or not. We're talking nineteen seventy blah blah. I remember telling
these people, "Change the fucking name, no bands ever gonna get anywhere with a name like Oasis".
I really honestly thought it was the biggest pile of shit going, well I still do, I think its an appalling
name but it means something else now doesn't it.

[B] Can you remember your first ever gig?
[c] Yeah that was with Genetic Breakdown in about '73. We played a talent contest in Thorton Heath
in a pub called 'The Brigstock Arms'. We were allowed two songs and we only got through about one
and a half. They pulled the plugs on us because we were so loud, so obnoxious and so awful. But
we had loads of spirit. I remember, I was shitting myself before we went on but afterwards I felt so
good that I thought blimey I'll have to do this again. 'Cause you know, it's fun showing off and I've
never grown tired of it.

 

[B] What about Johnny Moped, there must be a tale to tell there.
[C] Well basically with Johnny Moped, his dad is his granddad and his sister is his mum. It was one
of those inter-family naughty escapades that resulted in a child that has got an extra-ordinary outlook
on life. Which Johnny Moped certainly has, he's a wacky guy.

[B] I heard that when Johnny Moped recorded their album 'Cycledelic' he had to be kidnapped to do
the recording as his wife didn't approve of the band.
[C] Definitely yeah, what a chore that was. We'd say "we'll give ya a lift home Johnny " and he'd say
(Cap puts on a dodgy cockney accent) "Oh good cause Brenda's mum will be really upset if I miss
dinner tonight. You know might think I'm off recording an album or something. Then the shit really
would hit the fan and I'd have to sleep in a bush on the Purley Way". Which is what he has to do when
he's in the doghouse. They boot him out and he has to sleep in a hedge !!

 

[B] November 1976, The Damned's first single 'New Rose' has just been released how did that feel?
Having your first piece of plastic out.
[C] That was great, but I wanted 'I Fall' to be the single. That was the other track that was up for it.
I thought that 'I Fall' should have been the single 'cause it was fast. I thought that 'New Rose' was
a bit turgid but when the Pistols first single (Anarchy In The U.K.) came out, I couldn't believe it. It
just sounded like a mundane old rock band. I was expecting something a little more... of the spirit
of the times.

[B] What's the scariest gig situation you've ever been in?
[C] Cor blimey err... Probably the gun getting pulled on me in America. It was after the yanks had
done something or other pretty stupid and it looked as though there might be some sort of nuclear
confrontation. I was (onstage) saying something along the lines of "You Americans think you can
use Britain as a little aircraft carrier, sitting on the fringes of Europe, to do yer dirty work for yer,
but we're not gonna take it blah blah blah". So someone takes offence to this and runs out to his
car to get his pistol. He comes back in and fires a couple of shots off and... well they hustled me
off the stage and that was the end of that gig. I don't know if he was actually shooting at me but
they got me off the stage pretty damn quick. Another time I had a metal chair in the face. It was in
San Francisco and I had to have stitches in the back of me head because I saw it just quick enough
to be able to turn away. In Lincoln (U.K.) We were attacked by a whole bunch of blokes about 30 or
40 of 'em, all with iron bars and bricks and stuff. We actually had to fight our way out of that one.
They'd smashed all the windows of our van, out the back. We had to get the mike stands back out
of the van and get stuck in. Which was not really my cup of tea after a hot sweaty gig just spreading
peace and joy through out the world, yer know.

[B] Even Mr Vanian involved in the old fisty cuffs?
[C] Oh yeah, he's quite a strong bloke, old Dave. He actually really used to be a grave digger. He
really lives the lifestyle. I know it sounds weird but he really is into it, the whole lifestyle. The
motorbikes, the ex-grave digger bit and all that stuff. I like the bloke a lot, he's a bit of an enigma.
I think he's tinged with madness, I really think he is, because of the twenty years or so I've known
him he's never changed and he's always backed up whatever he said. Once I went round his house,
he was living in a basement and he'd had a flood. I said " 'ello Dave how's it going?" and he's like
"The drains have flooded can you help me get this carpet out". Actual sewage had come up through
the drains and it wasn't very pleasant. We got the carpet out and I said "What's that under there then?
that's a pentagram. Is that like satanic stuff or what?" And he says "It must have been put down by
the previous owners of the flat". Now does that ring true to you, the blokes sitting there, dressed up as
Dracula, with a hearse sitting outside the house and he's telling me, it must have been someone else
who done the pentagram. I don't think so ! Do you ?

 

[B] Machine gun etiquette, I've heard stories that all the bass playing on that was played by you. Is that
true?
[C] Well Algy had this thing about whisky. Algy's a lovely bloke but he could get quite aggressive. If the
bloke from the record company (Roger Armstrong), who was also producing the album with us, didn't
get the bevvies in, Algy would get extremely agitated and would smash things. So you had to get him a
bottle of whisky to keep him quiet. He would drink half the bottle and then would be good for about half
an hour of bass playing. Anything he did after that would be completely out to lunch unfortunately. So I
would have to repair bits and bobs, yeah. He knew all the songs he just couldn't handle the liquor.

 

[B] Whatever happened to the okapi suit?
[C] When I came across it somebody in a support band was wearing it. I think it was in Hull and I said
"Please, please give it to me". Then I said "flog it to me". Then I got someone from the merchandise stall
to go up and offer him x amount of Damned albums for it. Then in the end we just stole it. I wore it for a
photo session and it became kinda my bag. It must've really pissed this poor band off. Though unfortunately
I did contract crabs, cause we used to sleep around a bit in those days and the thing was infested with them.
So when one day somebody said would you sell me your thingamme. Expecting me to say no fuck off and I
said "Yeah certainly, here you go". So that's what happened to it. It was riddled with all sorts of disease's, so
I sold it.

[B] The song 'Curtain Call'. Paul Gray once told me that it was only ever worked on in the early hours.
[C]Yeah but only because Rat hated it, so we could only work on it when he was in bed. That's why there's
the dawn chorus on there. It was "Oh no Rats getting up !!". One morning I heard the dawn chorus outside the
window and said "Listen to that". So we just stuck the mike out of the window.

[B] What about 'Strawberries'. What sticks in your head about those times and that album?
[C] I remember during the recording of one track, late at night. After a session down the pub the engineer said
through the headphones "Guys you don't appear to be on the case tonight" and at that point Paul Gray
collapsed and landed on his flightcase. He was actually pissing on the floor at the time (!), with his bass around
his neck, urinating on the floor (!!) and he'd collapsed on his flightcase. I thought that was the funniest thing I'd
ever seen. I had in my ear "Your not on the case" and then Paul was on the case, that tickled me. That's
one incident that springs to mind. But you know with 'Strawberries', 'The Black Album', and 'Machine Gun
Etiquette' we tried to experiment a little bit and a lot of people said .....

 

 

 

 

.....THIS AIN'T FUCKING PUNK !!"
[C] Well, we made one great punk album ('Damned, Damned, Damned') and 'Machine Gun Etiquette' was pretty
punky as well. You can't just keep going over old ground and keep rehashing it like The Exploited did. You die
creatively if you do that. People have said astounding nice things to me about the stuff. People have come up to
me and said "When my girlfriend left me, I had a nervous breakdown and the only thing that got me through was
your music". Someone else said "I was gonna commit suicide and its only The Damned that got me through". I
mean we must have been doing something right. It means so much when people come up and say stuff. Of course
you get other people who come and say "Well that ain't fucking punk" but that doesn't go down too well with me.
Good luck to 'em you know, but punk's not punk any more. Dance music is now the Punk music. At least that's
what the anarcho set listens to and what is punk, punk is an attitude. It's got nothing to do with music, its a lifestyle.
It doesn't matter if a band does this or a band does that, bands are two a penny.

[B] What did you think of that whole Nirvana/Seattle/Grunge thing. Did you think that it had any relation at all to
punk?
[C] No nothing what so ever, no not one fucking slightest piece no. I did not detect the spirit of punk in any of that
stuff, no absolutely not. Black Flag maybe and The Dead Kennedy's and Bad Brains, but not the Seattle thing. The
Seattle thing and all that Grunge thing just sounds like heavy metal badly played and I didn't like heavy metal
anyway.

[B] Have you heard that Damned covers compilation from Seattle? I think it was called 'Another Damned Seattle
Compilation'.
[C] I've got it but I haven't played it. I'm not saying that because of snobbery. I'm just very particular about what I
listen to. I mainly like girlie pop but not The Spice Girls, I like Republica and Dubstar, but I mainly like Japanese
girlie pop. There's a band called Puffy, a duo, they're a couple of teenage girls. But my favourite Japanese pop
group is Fifty Four Nude Honeys, there's not fifty four of them but they're pretty nude. They wear the skimpiest
costumes you ever saw, it's quite punky, punky/poppy. Its a really good record its called 'Go Go Cabaret' and it's
great. I mean obviously they just get people off the street who look good. They get these teenage girls, they
bung 'em in the studio and they can't sing you know. The same set up as the Stock Aitkin and Waterman thing,
but there's something wonderfully naive about it. I do like ultra-pop. I love anything that's really, really poppy
but not The Spice Girls 'cause that's just a bit too cynical for me. It sounds like Gerry, who was the mouth, she
wanted to get her hands on the cash and wanted to be the manager of the band or at least have the control.
You can imagine her saying (Cap puts on his best Ginger Spice voice) "Well the last album was written by these
songwriters who are actually on more money than we are, girls wot yer fink? Its not right is it, its not
Girl-Power ! Right we're gonna write the next album ourselves". So, can't write songs can they? So even with
the best production team in the world they came out with a donkey of an album. Because they'd written the
songs (themselves). It'd all been rushed and Gerry thought it wasn't fair that every one else got all the publishing
money. Girl power blah blah. So this is an indication of what Gerry's all about. She sacked the manager on the
flimsy pretext that he was bonking Baby Spice. Baby Spice didn't seem to mind and what's wrong with the
manager bonking one of the girls anyway. It's one of those things that goes on isn't it? People shag! What did
Gerry really want? She didn't want Baby Spice to stop bonking the manager. I mean what's the manager gonna
give Baby Spice more money than Gerry? No she wanted her fingers in the till and she thought that was the way
she could do it. Blaming it on Baby and so 'n' so having an affair. Yeah that's what it was all about.

[B] So if they ask you to write songs for the next album. Are you gonna do it?
[C] Err... yeah probably would, actually, yeah (he says in Alan Partridge tones) and I must say about that Spice
Girls scenario. It's not unique. There's one in every band (he winks several times)

[B] Who was your Ginger Spice then?
[C] What in The Damned ? Err.... Anyway what's the next question? Is this going on the Internet? Yeah bung it
on the Internet. That'll be great.

 

 

 

 

 

[B] I hear you're keen on the Internet. Have you discovered any interesting web sites?
[C] Yes I have yes. Well there's one called Ha, Ha... I'm gonna get a terrible reputation. There's one called
Spice funnily enough, in America. There's this girl and she's got a camera sitting on top of her computer
and she just puts this thing on while she's watching the telly and the camera takes a photo of her every
minute. It's not like a video, it updates every minute. Now during the course of the evening she gets more
relaxed, maybe has a drink. Then she'll go into another room and comes back wearing something a bit
skimpier and err..(laughs). I just think that's brilliant. Not only because I'm a filthy old leach but also I think
it's fascinating. That there's this bird in America.. it's absolutely innocent and it's happening right now.
There's also one on top of the Empire State Building, it's looking over the top of Central Park and that's
updated every minute. So if the Empire State Building ever fell down. You'd probably be the first to know,
you'd see all these bricks and stuff falling about. Another one I liked was the toilet. If you go into your
browser and type in 'peeping tom' and 'video camera'. You'll find all these 'instant now video camera' sites.
There's just loads of them. People put them sticking outside their window and you just see people walking
past. The one in the toilet was great because you just looked down at this fucking karsee and just waited
for someone to come in and have a crap. Though to be brutally honest the whole thing was a hoax. It was
just a stills camera Ha Ha Ha. I was fooled as much as everyone else. They had a hit count thing at the
bottom, you know. How many people had been sitting, looking, waiting for somebody to come in the toilet.
It was something like fifteen thousand people all over the world and I must admit I was fooled by it. I love
the web for that. I think it's brilliant. But also, flippancy aside it's a brilliant tool for people to get their idea's
across because you can't ring up 'The Sun' newspaper and say "Look I've got some great anarchist idea's.
Would you give me a page to put my case across". They'd say "no fuck off!" or if you phoned up Tony Blair
and said "Look can you take some of my idea's onboard?". There's not a hope in hell. But you can spread
your idea's on the Internet and I think that's brilliant, really happening.

We then pause to get more drinks in and visit the bog to check for toilet cams....

 

 

....the tape then drops back in on a rather interesting Captain rant...

[C] .....You're a vegan, I'm pretty much a vegan. I'm a non-aggressive peace 'n' love
merchant and I hate allthat backlash against political correctness because the hidden
agenda is... to start calling black people 'coons' and stuff like that again. And to start
telling jokes about Irish people and that's not on. I don't think you can go back to that
again. P.C. is pretty cool and people slag it off and say [putting on a cockney accent]"
well you know, you can't fuckin' 'ave golly wogs anymore, it's absolutely ridiculous".
Who fucking wants a gollywog anyway it's a symbol of racism, I don't want one !! Then
people say "Look at Brussels they're tryin' to 'ave straight banana's, they wanna call
carrot's courgettes and they think British chocolate can't be called chocolate cause it's
not good enough for the bloody Europeans". Well it isn't, it is not good enough ! If
you've ever been to Europe and tasted European chocolate, which has got like 70 per
cent cocoa in it. Where as the British stuff has got about one per cent. You would then
understand why Europe is saying that. And straight banana's that was a hoax by The
Daily Mail newspaper. They're all hoax's fed in by the anti-Europe brigade. It's
ridiculous that you can control people by lies, absolutely amazing. I mean I've got no
love for European government and stuff, but I can spot a xenophobic rabid right wing
backlash when I see one. The more they go on about it the more I think, well maybe it would be nice to go
across borders without getting stopped by jack booted fucking coppers every five minutes. I do a lot of
traveling around the borders of Europe and I must say it is nice not to have that shit. When I come back
to Britain I get it at bloody Newhaven or Heathrow but I don't get that when I go from France to Germany, it's
excellent. All borders should be open between every country not just Europe. There should just be a world !!
(with no borders). I would have no passports for definite and if that meant people from an extremely poor
country in the third world.... not that were not heading that way ourselves, but if people from a poor country
could go to a rich country to better their lives then it would be great. The rich country's would come down in
the economic thing and the poor countries would have less people there to look after. The whole thing would
balance out. You see when they talk about capitalism and market forces they don't take it to its logical
conclusion which means no borders for trade but also no borders for people either. Which would empower
the poor.

[B] But they don't want to empower anyone though do they?
[C] Who the capitalists? Of course not, no.

[B] And I don't mean the government's. I mean the people with the money, who are running...
[C] Who are really running things, yeah.

[B] They don't want anything that's gonna empower people. They're trying to find ways of controlling the internet.
Legal gateways that you'd have to go through, under the pretext of keeping porn out of children's way.
[C] You tell me how many Tory M.P.'s have not got child porn sitting under their files, in their offices in the houses of
parliament. You show me a clean and decent Tory M.P. and I'll say yeah OK we'll have censorship on the internet.

[B] What about this new government? Any thoughts on Blair's new blue?
[C] Ha ha ha... It's a bit embarrassing for those of us who in the past have been involved in trying to get a Labour
government elected. Which I'm ashamed to say that I was one. I was involved with the red wedge thing for two
elections, with Billy Bragg and the rest of them. I do feel a trifle let down. Pretty daft eh ! But there's still some
decent people within the Labour party. We might shame them into getting rid of fox hunting, stopping selling arms
to Indonesia and things like that. It was very nice to see the smile wiped off John Selwin Gummer's face.

[B] Do think punk and punk-politics actually changed anything?
[C] Yeah I think so, definitely yeah. 'Cause look at the road protests and reclaim the streets and all that stuff. That
eclipsed anything that the punk brigade ever did. But yeah, obviously it's... a continuation of a fine tradition. I go
on those dance road protest things. If someone tells me about them. Where you find out about these things I don't
know. I've been to some marvelous things, where you sit there and there's kids making sandcastles in the street
and big dance/rave systems belting it out. I get myself a couple of bottle's of cider and sit there and get extremely
drunk. I have a fucking good time and I watch the coppers, powerless to do anything and all the car drivers going
beep, beep, beep and I think, yes this is excellent.

[B] I went to the anti-criminal justice act rally in Hyde Park and I saw you wandering around there...
[C] Was that where the coppers were all steaming in? Yes and that's what actually caused the riot. Did you say
hello?

[B] Well, I shouted Captain, expecting you to turn round and go "Wot"...
[C] Yeah right so I never say 'Wot' ha, ha, ha.

[B] ..and you flew off like you were thinking, oh fuck someone's recognised me. I don't wanna speak to any daft
old punks about The Damned at the moment, this is more important. Which is understandable. Do you ever get
sick of being recognised?
[C] (Thoughtfully) Yeah, sometimes I'm into it and sometimes I'm not. Like most people I'm moody and sometimes
I can take it and sometimes I can't.

[B] At what point did you decide to record some stuff on your own? Was it around the time of 'Strawberries' or
before that?
[C] Oh well before 'Strawberries'. Chiswick records used to block book a cheap 'n' nasty little rehearsal/recording
studio in Croydon and we used to get a great result out of it. But I would sit in there with Rat or Algy Ward or
whoever I was working with. Trying to put some demo's together and I'd sit there for there for days waiting for
Vanian to turn up. I got so used to it that it actually pushed me into singing. We'd go down the pub and we'd be
saying "The fucking guy isn't here "! "What the hell are we gonna do? The recording session's end tonight. Lets
just put a vocal down to give an idea of what it should sound like". So that's what we'd do. You'd go in, sing your
vocals, finish your song and give it to the record label and this went on and on. Dave used to turn up occasionally
and do some songs and stuff. Anyway I ended up learning how to sing, but I never wanted to !!

 

 

 

 

 

"I hated singing!! Still do."

[B] What about 'Silly Kids Games' from 'The Black Album', a hint of things to come?
[C] Yeah!

[B] And later you borrowed part of it's melody for your solo single 'Come On Down'.
[C] (Feigning surprise) Oh yeah. Also there's another one. I did this John Peel session where I had a song called
'Baby Sign Here With Me' and the organ solo on that was the one that eventually went on to 'I Just Can't Be
Happy Today'. That session's gonna be released soon. It's by my band called King. Which came before the other
band called King. So it show's you how fucking old it is. We're talking decades 'ere guvner.

 

[B] Happy Talk,(Captain grimaces) did you make a lot of money from that?
[C] (Sounding ashamed) Yeah I did actually yeah, I must admit though, I've spent it. But you know I was kicked
out of The Damned and I didn't rejoin them for about ten years. Except for one tour where I was back as a
guest in 1991. Anyway I had some very, very bleak years. In '89 I ran a small label called Deltic Records and to
be quite honest I had bailiffs at the door. I could hardly afford to feed and clothe my kids. I had no income
coming from anywhere. I don't get any royalties because for certain reasons certain old labels don't pay me
royalties. I'm still fighting to get them now. Certain members of The Damned who aren't in the band at the
moment, say they own the rights. They collect the money and don't pay me (my share). So it's all a little bit
grim really and I don't really want to go over it cause it's so tedious. But let's just put it this way, there are some
people who are attracted to the showbiz lifestyle for the fact that it's easy to get your fingers in the till and make
easy money. Me, I'm an idealistic guitar player who wants to change the world and that's why it's so easy to rip
me off.

[B] So does Dave get his money?
[C] (Long pause) I can't really speak for Dave. I think it's really sordid to talk about money, absolutely terrible. I
read so many interviews with bands that go on about being ripped off. Who moan on about showbiz and blah,
blah. It gets so that its almost not worth reading the interview as it's just a drag. Unfortunately all that managers
or unscrupulous breadhead types are interested in, is the cash and the creative types are only interested in the
creation of the 'Art'. Now these two principles just cannot mix it's like oil and water. One of them will never
understand the other. Which makes it so easy to rip idealistic musicians off. With me every time someone talks
about contracts my eyes glass over and my mind wanders. I just can't listen to it for more than about thirty
seconds. I can't talk about this anymore....

[B] Do you think, in the long term 'Happy Talk' helped or hindered your career?
[C] It depends which way you look at it. I would never have done that karaoke programme on Sky TV, with
Suggs, if it hadn't been for 'Happy Talk'.

 

[B] So it brings a bit of money in?
[C] Well yeah, but on the other hand I'm a reasonably good guitar player and I could be doing recording
sessions for people. I'm flying over to Detroit in two weeks to do an album with another band. People in
America recognise that I'm a reasonably good musician. Where as in Britain I'm a joke, because of 'Happy
Talk'. Which is a real shame. Having said that Terry Wogan asked me to do Blankety Blank (U.K game
show) and I told them to fuck off. I do get offers like that, but I never do them. You'll never have seen me
do anything like that. I've had so many offers but I've never done 'em. 'Happy Talk' I did because we
needed an extra track on the album I'd recorded about nine songs and the producer said to me "Well if
you haven't got any more songs we'll do a couple of cover versions. I went home and found 'Happy Talk'
in me mum and dads record collection and said "Lets do that!"

[B] And it got to number one in the charts ?
[C] It did yeah, but I didn't want it released as a single. When the record company said "Can we shelve
doing one of your own songs as the first single and do 'Happy Talk' instead?" I said no. So they went away,
had a think about it and then phoned me about a week later and said "Look Captain someone from EMI
has heard your version of 'Happy Talk' and they're in the studio now with one of their artists doing a very
similar version. If you don't let us at A&M release this on your behalf, you won't be at number one, someone
else will. And I must say you might regret this for the rest of your life!". And I said (panicked voice) "I always
said I didn't want it released. What shall I do, what shall I do, err, Yeah release it, release it, OK". They were
lying, there was no one from EMI in the studio or anywhere else. They were lying and they conned me into
No. 1, I was hoodwinked. John Peel though thought it was brilliant. He was the first D.J. to play it. He said
"Listen to this, from Captain Sensible of all people". As before that I had a reputation for scrapping and
drinking and stuff. I did all the kids TV programs but I went on pissed as parrot. I whacked someone round
the ear'ole with a broom once, if I remember rightly and then passed out on the floor!

 

'I had to be carried off on a stretcher, live on Saturday morning kids TV !!

 

 

[B] Did you get thrown off of A&M because of no more 'Happy Talks'?
[C] No, I left my manager. A bloke called Andrew Miller and the funny thing was I was never signed to A&M,
his production company was. So I worked with Andrew, but Andrews production company is the one who
is signed to A&M. At the time he said to me "We're not gonna do this the stupid way Captain, signing you to
A&M. We're gonna do this the clever way. We'll just give them the product through the production company
and that's the way we'll do it". I thought at the time oh yeah brilliant, we can do what we want and they'll
release it. Now when Andrew and myself parted company I was out of A&M. As I didn't have a record
contract with them.

[B] Were they glad times or sad time's
[C] A&M were brilliant, really good. I remember once I was standing on the top floor of this swish hotel in
Paris and they asked me if I minded The Rolling Stones sharing the same floor as me. I had to think about
it, but I said "Yeah all right then, let 'em up". Ha, ha, It's honestly true!

[B] Captain, your an old pirate an ain't I glad, ha, ha.
[C] Yeah exactly. For about three years, whenever I went to Paris, I had a chauffeur driven limo at my
disposal. I was so big in France. I was number one for seven weeks and some of the subsequent
single's were massive hits. I was really badly behaved though, but they loved me for it. I used to get
'The Dolly Mixture's', the three girls that I had singing with me. We'd be on these prestigious T.V.
programmes, we'd be singing the song and we'd fuck it up and I'd just chuck the mike away and I'd
be rolling around on the floor, biting the girls ankles, not even bothering to mime any more. Yeah it
was great those days.

Talk then turns to the time of the release of the 'Come On Down' single, its accompanying video and the
subsequent aborted tour. Go to part two to read on...

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Click here for part two

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